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| EFC STATS |
| Movies Listed: |
17816 |
| Total Ratings: |
215222 |
| Total Reviews: |
21774 |
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| TWILIGHT (2008) |
"I fear Catherine Hardwicke more than vampires"
brianorndorf says... "Perhaps the least likely event movie in the history of cinema, “Twilight,” after a full year of fire-stoking from fangirls of all ages and lung capacity, finally hits screens to greet its adoring followers, leaving the uninitiated on the outside looking in. However, that’s a great place to be when it comes to this impossibly sloppy, incoherent motion picture; the outside leaves plenty of leg room to run screaming from Catherine Hardwicke and her absolute inability to direct a stirring motion picture." (more)
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| BOLT |
"The movie Disney didn't want Brian to see"
brianorndorf says... "Emerging from Disney’s wounded in-house animation arm, “Bolt” is as routinely arranged a tale as the Mouse House is capable of telling. However, the lack of screenwriting imagination is offset by the inherent charm of the picture, resulting in a pleasing arrangement of CG-animated action set-pieces and slapstick comedy to push “Bolt” beyond the repetitive family film norm." (more)
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| I CAN'T THINK STRAIGHT |
"Lesbians! And geopolitical concern?"
brianorndorf says... "It’s hard not to feel an attack of the yawns with “I Can’t Think Straight.” After all, it’s a fairly routine story of newfound lesbian rapture told with draggy melodrama and general overemphasis. However, the film is cast well with striking actresses Lisa Ray and Sheetal Sheth, who provide some needed emotional buoyancy to an otherwise unsuccessful attempt to merge hazardous sexual identity with turbulent world politics." (more)
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| BOLT |
"Not quite Pixar, but definitely the next best thing."
Mel Valentin says... ""Bolt," the latest film from Disney Animation ("Meet the Robinsons," "Chicken Little"), is a computer-animated family film shot in Disney Digital 3-D™ that delivers (near) Pixar-level quality. Not surprisingly, "Bolt" is the first animated Disney film conceived and supervised by John Lasseter, Chief Creative Officer for Pixar and Disney. The story, characters, animation, and message are all unmistakably influenced by Pixar and the decade and a half run of near-superlative to superlative animated films (e.g. "Wall-E," "The Incredibles," "Finding Nemo," "Monster’s Inc.," "A Bug’s Life," "Toy Story I and II") that have made Pixar synonymous with excellence on both narrative and visual levels (not to mention merchandizing worth billions of dollars). While "Bolt" isn’t Pixar-level original, story wise, it’s still a significant step up for Disney Animation from its previous efforts (and bodes well for the future under Lasseter’s continuing leadership)." (more)
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| TWILIGHT (2008) |
"Strictly for teen (girl) fans of the series."
Mel Valentin says... ""Twilight," the eagerly anticipated (by teen girls here, there, and everywhere) big-screen (if not big budget) adaptation of Stephenie Meyer’s first novel in a four-volume series for young adults, is an uninspired, derivative vampire/teen romance. Crammed with unnecessary, over-obvious expository voiceover narration, a been-there, read-that storyline that offers safe predictability, and repetitive scenes of the co-leads gazing longingly at each other for minutes at a time, it’s hard, no strike that, almost impossible, to believe that the "Twilight" series has sold an estimated 17.5 million copies worldwide (8.5 million in the United States alone), but it has, and if the first in a promised four adaptations is any indication, it’s wholly undeserving of your (or your teen daughter’s) investment of time, effort, or money." (more)
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| TWILIGHT (2008) |
"For the screaming fans."
Eugene Novikov says... "I'll begin by saying that I am probably unqualified to evaluate TWILIGHT's merits as a teen soap opera. Judging by the amount of noise generated by the mostly teenaged, female crowd at my screening, it appears to fill that niche quite well. In that sense, the movie is truly critic-proof: the girls will squeal over the hot vampires, and that'll be that. I have no desire to begrudge them their fun. This review is not for them." (more)
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| BOLT |
"A Kinder, Gentler "White Dog""
Peter Sobczynski says... "If “Bolt” had been made 10 or 15 years ago, a time when you didn’t have a new animated feature film hitting the multiplexes seemingly every few weeks, there is a possibility that I might have enjoyed it a little more than I do right now. However, it lacks that final burst of inspiration that might have transformed it from the middling time-killer that it is into something a bit more substantial for audiences of all ages. Instead, it simply offers 90 minutes of empty-headed entertainment of the type that you have seen a hundred times before and while it is better than many films of its ilk, it never quite comes into its own as a worthwhile experience in its own right." (more)
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| TWILIGHT (2008) |
"Let My Blood Open The Door To Your Heart"
Peter Sobczynski says... "As the end credits of “Twilight” finally began to roll, the soundtrack may have featured another one of the vaguely unlistenable emo-like tunes that had been featured throughout the film, but the only song I could hear in my head was the immortal Peggy Lee classic “Is That All There Is?” Granted, having never read the enormously popular novel from Stephenie Meyer that it has been adapted from, I didn’t really come into the screening with any other expectations other than the ones generated by the months of pre-release hype that have tried to position the film as both the natural successor to the Harry Potter franchise (a comparison that became even more forced when the new Potter film was postponed until next summer and this one immediately claimed its coveted release date) and the hot new fad for 14-year-old girls of all ages. That said, whatever my expectations may or may not have been, I certainly never dreamed that the end result would be a so-called vampire movie that was actually a painfully dull and wretchedly produced mess in which nothing much of anything happens outside of one incredibly inarticulate and half-complete conversation after another between two of the dullest and most lifeless characters in recent memory (and only one had the excuse of actually being lifeless), an actual vampire-related plot conflict that finally arrives three-fourths of the way through and is dispensed with in about fifteen minutes and a finale that takes place at prom--not an attack at prom, mind you, but a straightforward prom finale that could have come straight out of the trim bin from “Pretty in Pink.” This is what has had its target audience atwitter with anticipation for months? For their sake, I can only hope that their precious tome has been unmercifully butchered in its trip from the page to the screen because if this disaster actually is faithful to its source novel, then what that says about the collective taste of its rabid fan base is too unspeakably depressing to contemplate." (more)
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DVD REVIEWS FOR 11/21: WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE SNAKES?
by Peter Sobczynski |
| "In which your faithful critic tries to explain, none too successfully, why he has dedicated valuable time and space to a barely-remembered piece of exploitation trash featuring a battle royale between Moe Green and some water moccasins." (more) |
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DVD / BLU RAY REVIEW: YOUNG PEOPLE FUCKING (AND THIS IS NO P-P-P-PORN....)
by Jason Whyte |
| "Although “Young People Fucking” had a recent release in the United States, the film is already in release on video store shelves and enjoyed a successful theatrical run in nearly every major city in the Canada. And for good reason, as this sex comedy delivers all the pleasures of a night out at the movies. In no way is the title meant to suggest anything explicit, although this IS a hard-R rated movie with a good amount of nudity, frank sexual talk and even a strap on thrown in for good measure." (more) |
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TRAILER MANIA AND REBOOTING THE STAR TREK FRANCHISE
by Mel Valentin |
| "This past weekend saw the release of "Quantum of Solace," the 22nd film in the recently rebooted James Bond franchise. The first trailer for J.J. Abrams ‘s ("Fringe," "Lost," "Mission Impossible III," "Alias," "Felicity," "Armageddon") eagerly anticipated reboot of the dormant "Star Trek" franchise also hit theaters (and, unsurprisingly, the internet as well through an uploaded cam version). Fans of the television series (a.k.a. “The Original Series” or “TOS”) were obviously anxious at what Abrams, a self-professed non-fan of "Star Trek: TOS", would do with their beloved characters and universe. Obviously, a trailer isn’t going to assuage those concerns, but looked at closely, it gives us an idea as to where Abrams wants to take the newly revamped franchise." (more) |
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'I WISH MY MOM WAS MICHELLE PFEIFFER'
- Paulapalooza, HBS Reviewer
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