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Overall Rating
  Awesome: 11.33%
Worth A Look: 12%
Average: 18.33%
Pretty Bad: 16.67%
Total Crap: 41.67%
8 reviews, 252 user ratings
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| Alien vs. Predator |
by Dennis Swennumson
"Paul WS Anderson, Stephen Sommers and David Twohy laugh at our suffering."
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The fan boys have been clamoring for it for years, they already have the toys, the video games and the comics, and now it’s here. “Alien Vs. Predator” is a movie that could have garnered more buzz than it did, but the film sputtered in development and inspired bursts of outrage from the hard-to-please sci-fi lovers throughout its production. This film has come a long way from an in-joke in “Predator 2”, and all of the red flags along the way have been proven, “Alien Vs. Predator” fails on almost every count, the movie obliterates any last hope and anticipation, replacing it with complete disappointment. Now we know that the comics were good enough.Granted the storyline is definitely ludicrous, it’s not what drives the film into the ground. It’s a combination of bad elements that erodes “Alien Vs. Predator.” The film opens with the satellites of Weyland Industries, the “company” referred to in the other “Alien” movies, detecting an unknown heat burst in the arctic. Their experts determine that there is an ancient pyramid there, buried far beneath the ice. They quickly assemble an all-star team for the exploration, including the world’s fastest drilling team, an expert in leading exhibitions through unlivable climates and an archaeologist specializing in the supposed architecture of the temple. This is a film that runs brisk at 87 minutes, so the characters quickly find themselves down under the ice, in the middle of the Predators’ centuries-old hunting complex.
The film is quick to provide background and screen time to the characters that matter, but gives too many lines to the characters the audience does not recognize. I swear there are people that just pop on the screen to speak some needless dialogue and either vanish or become the next victim. There is very little character development, just the typical character molds; the reluctant, the stubborn and the bumbling not-so-funny comic relief. There’s a scene when one character translates some hieroglyphics on a wall to several hundred years of back story to the whole Alien-Predator feud, when just scenes earlier the entire team was struggling to translate one sentence before entering a room, of course translating it in a way that ensures their doom. “Alien Vs. Predator” is a movie marked by frequent ridiculousness.
The movie is at its with the first fight scenes between the two monsters, but still rages out of control in all other areas. “Alien Vs. Predator” is the kind of movie with those little flaws one would like to ignore, but continues to frequently pile on the garbage until it has reached sheer and absolute shoddiness. Another small plus in the movie is the lead character played by Sanaa Lathan; she definitely brings that requisite Ripley vibe needed in these movies. Unfortunately all hope is lost when her character begins to a friendship with a younger Predator, the film becomes completely unsalvageable.
There’s no doubt that director Paul W.S. Anderson has a nice aptitude for directing action, his movies just tend to be horrible assaults on our collective sense of what a good movie is comprised of. After all, he is responsible for “Soldier” and “Event Horizon.” He swept aside all that made “Resident Evil” a great video game, resulting in a travesty of a movie adaptation. This is a film that Anderson has repeatedly said was a dream job, to finally bring the Predator-Alien beef to the big screen.“Freddy Vs. Jason” is a movie that exceeded its crossover potential, “Alien Vs. Predator” is a film that may ultimately kill both franchises. Thanks a lot Paul.
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link directly to this review at http://efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=10370&reviewer=338
originally posted: 08/17/04 20:02:15
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USA
13-Aug-2004 (PG-13)
DVD: 22-Nov-2005
UK
N/A
Australia
30-Sep-2004
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