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Overall Rating
2.51

Awesome: 14.85%
Worth A Look: 15.84%
Average: 9.9%
Pretty Bad: 24.75%
Total Crap34.65%

6 reviews, 65 user ratings


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Resident Evil: Apocalypse
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Price:   $17.49
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by Kevin Thomas

"Resident Evil; Moronic"
1 stars

Has Alexander Witt ever actually played one of the damn games he is merrily butchering for our ‘enjoyment’? I had trouble keeping track of the contradictions and mistakes in the ‘plot’ with regard to the game timeline. So much trouble, in fact, that eventually I just gave up and tried to enjoy the movie in its own right. Sadly, even that was impossible!

See, this movie has absolutely nothing going for it. There is no atmosphere, little plot (they felt the need to dumb down the plot of the game. Lets just make sure you understand what an insult this is; they felt the need to DUMB DOWN A COMPUTER GAME so that you wouldn’t get lost) and no event is less than totally predictable from at least twenty minutes earlier. Actually, that is a lie; there are at least two surprises that you don’t see coming, but not because of skilled directing, merely because you simply could not imagine that Witt would be THAT disrespectful to the source material.

The script is the clunkiest thing to fall out of Paul Anderson’s arse for a long time. Not that quality really matters as no one on the billing has the acting skills required to make even ‘There’s nothing to it, just aim for the head’ sound vaguely plausible, let alone believable. Whilst the first’s zombies had the kind of staggering menace about them that all good zombies should, this instalment seemed full of hungover students going to a nine o’clock lecture (save for the moments when they gain inexplicable martial arts skill).

These criticisms are the ones that you will notice most if you have never played the games. God help you if you have, as Witt’s decision to spend ninety minutes pissing on the franchise from a great height will drive you insane. Characters appear out of nowhere from the other instalments (regardless of the fact that they never met any of the players in this movie, and should actually be dead), others change their allegiances for no reason other than there would have to be a plot to explain why they were not good guys. The whole ‘science gone wrong’ angle gets thrown out the window when psychic elements get brought in for no reason and, most gallingly, Nemesis has a crisis of conscience! I don’t remember the power of unconditional love saving me from being obliterated in the game.

Even if you could ignore the mistakes, you can only watch in horror as chance after chance for a set piece or at least subtle nod towards the game gets passed over in favour of sequences robbed from Jurassic Park. It is entirely devoid of pretty much anything that makes this part of the Resident Evil universe other than the absolute sketchiest of plot details. If you’re going to botch up an action movie (and let there be no doubt, this is a boring mess of a botch job), the least you should do is keep the fanboys happy; they’re the only ones who will buy the Special Platinum Edition DVD release you have planned.

This is a boring waste of time that is quite obviously the product of a crew who should really know better. In more ways than one.

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link directly to this review at http://efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=10710&reviewer=368
originally posted: 10/20/04 22:41:21
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User Comments

1/09/10 art IT"S EVIL JUST LIKE THE FIRST RESIDENT EVIL! 1 stars
10/16/07 beau ps2 games of this are way better!!!!!!! but i like milla jovovich in this!!! 2 stars
9/24/07 Nicholas Maday I love Milla, but this was pretty bad. Better than Ultraviolet, but still pretty bad. 2 stars
1/07/07 Stephen Besides the monsters it strays too far away from the game, and thats why i think it sucks 2 stars
6/16/06 Michele ok 3 stars
6/05/06 mary great 5 stars
5/01/06 Jack A terrific sequel 5 stars
3/02/06 Steven Lewis total crap compared to the first film. 1 stars
12/06/05 Steve Newman What a load of Tosh 2 stars
10/25/05 chris fox (the god) good 4 stars
10/23/05 Raul Valdez A good sequal. 5 stars
10/19/05 Eden And i thought the first one was bad 1 stars
10/11/05 Wisamane Wow the plot suckkss! HAHAHAH what a stupid movie, The ZOMBIE WAS HER BOY FRIEND HAHAHAH!!! 1 stars
10/11/05 Indrid Cold I didn't turn it off. Yes, that's the best compliment I can give to it. 2 stars
9/08/05 Tom Burns I love this movie. A superb sequel. 5 stars
9/04/05 Eden Why was this made? 1 stars
8/26/05 Termite Slighty better than the original, but that's not saying much, now, is it? 3 stars
8/22/05 Sofa King A video game zombie movie for the learning disabled! w00t! IT SUCKED! 1 stars
8/19/05 ES So many impossible stunts (ie church window jump on motor cycle) and bad acting make crap 1 stars
7/25/05 Jake Fun to watch, wouldn't ever care to see again 3 stars
7/18/05 Brandy Harrington Rancid shit! Why do you people like this trash? 1 stars
7/04/05 MACKY B. ESCARAN VERRY EMPRESIVE 5 stars
6/26/05 DennyRoss All I hear are generalizations and beefs about the director. I loved this flick!!! 5 stars
6/11/05 Manu Ginobli Garbage. 1 stars
6/10/05 Indrid Cold Barely watchable 90 minute-long music video. 2 stars
5/01/05 Jim Hot chicks in miniskirts kick zombie ass 4 stars
4/11/05 Morten I liked it. And to all the people posting anon, grow a spine :p 4 stars
4/03/05 fhf one of the shittiest movies, ever. 1 stars
3/12/05 ELI driest zombie ever made. WHERE'S MY BLOOD??? acting was funny too 2 stars
2/23/05 lol This movie was absolute shit, a disgrace to the games. 1 stars
2/15/05 Rock-steady goddamn she has huge nipples(i'd still fuck her) 3 stars
2/12/05 J Cool sort of, but a horrible adaptation to the game RE3 3 stars
2/12/05 Bobby da Squid An unoriginal yawnfest 2 stars
2/02/05 tatum Cheaper than the original, and really clicheed 1 stars
1/05/05 Joe England Say what you will, at least the first one wasn't riddled with COUNTLESS plot holes. 2 stars
12/26/04 Phil Brosgol A clunky, boring, steaming pile of excrement, seasoned with paper-thin characters. 1 stars
12/16/04 Etheridge Hoogendijk This gets bad ratings; SHAUN OF THE DEAD mostly awesome. But I could hardly tell them apart 3 stars
11/17/04 Gooey 2wice the shit 1 stars
11/05/04 Duncan if i was angry as tyson and stupid as homer,i would love it 1 stars
11/02/04 Deviant better than the first, inspired me to buy 3 of the games the next day 4 stars
10/21/04 Naka Nope! 1 stars
10/18/04 Samuel It was decent, nothing special. 3 stars
10/14/04 Pial PEOPLE FOR GODSAKES it's a video game to movie franchise what do you expect a oscar winner? 5 stars
10/09/04 Geo I Hate you P. W Anderson! 3 stars
10/02/04 Neo First one definitely better, this is a total failure 1 stars
10/01/04 Deuce Richter F u all in the pants! Its a decent movie 4 stars
9/27/04 Dreamless It's like THE GAME,you can't make a "braveheart" out of everything. 4 stars
9/27/04 Laurian Awesome Nemesis, great turn of events! First half was ok, second half of the movie ruled! 5 stars
9/25/04 joe lopez the best movie i have ever seen 5 stars
9/21/04 American Slasher Goddess Slightly better then the first one, but that's not saying awhole lot. 2 stars
9/20/04 Derek Horrible. The Nemesis's mutations arent shown and he doesnt kill anyone with his tentacles. 1 stars
9/17/04 Kyle Wellcome First ones better, but this one isnt that bad. 4 stars
9/16/04 Kris couldnt even throw me a twat shot 1 stars
9/15/04 CP0 Not bad, much better than Original. Good action and pretty much wraps up Summer. 3 stars
9/14/04 nick2k well...at least it was better than the 1st one. 2 stars
9/13/04 Matt Holland Mediocre. Period 2 stars
9/13/04 mr mason retarded but sooooooo awesome at the same time. Boneheadedness maximus! 4 stars
9/12/04 Vicious Ws anderson is most at fault for this, he must be destroyed to prevent further atrocities. 1 stars
9/12/04 y2mckay haha! Eric is a funny guy. But it's still worth a look for Milla's shot-glass sized nipples 4 stars
9/12/04 Gruff Well paced, no glaring holes, very athletic 4 stars
9/12/04 Ajax What a terrible, terrible movie. But Milla Jovovich is SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL! 2 stars
9/12/04 Galadie trash, just like the first. 1 stars
9/11/04 Tyrantis Dude, WTF is up with the Nemisis/Alice kiss scene? As if I didn't hate Alice enough! 1 stars
9/11/04 KingNeutron The action sequences were too blurry to follow; but Milla was good. 3 stars
9/09/04 Ray AWFUL 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  10-Sep-2004 (R)
  DVD: 17-Jan-2006

UK
  N/A

Australia
  21-Oct-2004



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