Overall Rating
  Awesome: 44.23%
Worth A Look: 5.77%
Average: 11.54%
Pretty Bad: 1.92%
Total Crap: 36.54%
2 reviews, 40 user ratings
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| Flashdance |
by Slyder
"Great Music, Lousy Movie"
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Why is this film considered a classic? Can somebody answer me that? No, don’t come to me with that “It has great music and dance scenes” bullshit. Come on, tell me why? Because its inspiring to us all and Jennifer Beals is a hottie? Gimme a fucking break. This movie sucked ass, not because of the music and the dancing, but because the movie is so distracted by its subplots that it forgets is main point, and when a movie does that, it’s trouble.Analyze this: Alex (Beals), is a Pittsburgh blue-collar worker by day and an exotic dancer by night. She has a dream of becoming a professional ballet dancer, and the movie just follows her quest for her dream as she tries to ingress The Academy of Dance and Theatre, and also her relationship with his boyfriend/boss Nick Hurley (Michael Nouri).
Yep that’s it. That’s all there is. A plot like this could’ve been covered from 30 minutes to an hour max. But hey, the movie runs 95 minutes long, so why that long? Well that’s because there’s like 40 minutes of the movie which concentrate on Alex’s quest to ingress into the Academy, but then we have 55 minutes of subplots that have nothing to do with the original plot, but are just there to kill time. Oh yeah, Alex’s friend Jeannie (Sunny Johnson) trying to win a skating championship but failing. Then there’s wannabe comedian Ritchie Blazik (Kyle T. Heffner) who tries to be funny in all the jokes he tries (though he sucks), and probably his funniest moment is when he gets his nose broken by badass thug Johnny C (Lee Ving), owner of a strip club. Oh and Johnny is wooing and sometimes stalking the girls, and also when Ritchie has his nose broken, Nick come to the rescue of Alex, but hey, he just shouts “YOU LEAVE HER ALONE” and then Johnny C, looking like a tough motherfucker, decides to leave. What? No fight? No duel? What the hell was that all about? Oh, and then there’s the love story, yeah the love each other and sometimes Alex shows jealousy and all when Nick’s ex-wife appears but they reconcile, and all that babble is enough for me to shout:
WHO THE FUCK CARES???!!! CAN WE GET BACK TO THE POINT???!!!
Eventually we do, but not before we waste almost an hour of our lives on so much nonsensical bullshit that has nothing to do with the main idea of the story, and then the movie makes a stupid mistake on giving the character a bad case of “foolish pride,” which made me cringe and laugh at such stupidity. Such a lousy script, written by Tomas Hedley, and no one else but Joe Eztheras, yeah, that little bitch who gave us trashfests like Basic Instinct, Showgirls, Nowhere To Run, and Jade. No wonder this film has some unusual sexual elements that don’t cave in, and in the end are utterly ridiculous. So much for a sex guru like Eztheras
Was there something good on this film? Oh yeah, the music kicks ass of course and the ballet choreography is also great. The cinematography had also some great moments. But all in all, it’s not enough to save this film from utter mediocrity. Jennifer Beals gives out her most “better” performance in this movie, though she doesn’t do the dancing. The rest of the cast is pretty much wasted.In the end, this movie sucked, and I can’t recommend it for you to watch it. It’s pretty paper-thin and lousy to watch, and the worst is that it doesn’t bring anything new to itself. So is this film an 80’s classic? The music may be but this film definitely isn’t.
 del.icio.us 
link directly to this review at http://efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=1248&reviewer=235
originally posted: 07/13/02 14:14:23
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USA
02-Feb-1983 (R)
UK
N/A
Australia
02-Jul-1983 (M)
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