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So, there are these SETI idiots who receive an alien message on how to splice an alien hybrid with a human. So, with no thought whatsoever they do it. And the alien, or should I say, horny, hot, alien known as Sil (Natasha Henstridge) is created, but she escapes, and soon she’s on the hunt for a mate, since she has to breed. The group consist of Xavier Fitch (Ben Kingsley), Preston Lennox (Michael Madsen), Dr. Laura Baker (Marg Helgenberger), Dr. Stephen Arden (Alfred Molina), and Dan Smithson (Forest Whitaker). And off they go off trying to catch Sil, before she finds and fucks her mate.

Ok, first of all, there’s nothing original in this film. This flick is just a total mishmash of every stupid Sci-Fi film out there and any Playboy movie you find out there. The first part, I mean, the characters depicted here are stupid enough to take this data and do this alien without even wondering what the fuck would they expect. After that, the rest of the film is just a lame excuse to show Tits and Ass. Ugh, what a load of bullshit. The plot is a complete no-brainer, and it’s altogether stupid. With plotholes the size of an asshole, and wacky unbelievable clichés that just make you feel like laughing every time that she’s looking for a mate or even try to fake it.

FX? Pfffft. The lamest piece of shit I’ve ever seen. The fucking alien looks totally unreal. It looks more like a barely improved costume version of the Creature of the Black Lagoon. Sure, it brings out a few scares and shit, but other than that, there’s nothing else whatsoever, there’s no point in this movie, only to show Henstridge’s T&A, which even if you try to ignore it (though you can’t), there’s nothing else to look for. Only more laughs and rants. The ending was totally, totally stupid. So I felt like all idle and dumbfounded, trying to react at the shit that was planted in my brain. I laughed, I cried, and wanted to shoot the TV or hit the wall many times with my fist until it bled. It was really bad.

The performances of the actors are a total write-off. Ben Kingsley is the only one who really acted in the film. I feel sorry for him, since he had to appear in a piece of shit like this one. Michael Madsen was all right, Forest Whitaker was on autopilot, Helgenberger was somehow annoying, but Hendstridge, is a total piece of wood. She doesn’t act for shit. You know, in her case, as well as many others. I can’t understand why do models (like Henstridge) want to break into films like this, showing their boobies. This is proof that most of these bitches don’t even have a single knack of talent; they think that showing their T&A is good enough to say that they can act. Well guess what? FUCK YOU, YOU TALENTLESS BITCHES!!!! If that’s your idea of breaking into Hollywood, forget it. Go try the porno industry instead and waste your time there, they can use talents like you. The same goes to Dennis Feldman, author of this crud.

In the end, forget this fucking crud. It’s a total waste of time, not worth of your money. But if you liked this film (or god forbid, recommend), then you're probably an idiot, or like to masturbate at porno films for a living. Shit, in that case I rather watch a soft-core porn film like Femalien than watch this piece of imbreaded shit. That or Alien or Predator.

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originally posted: 10/17/01 04:10:41
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