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Overall Rating
2.75

Awesome: 13.16%
Worth A Look: 23.68%
Average: 12.28%
Pretty Bad27.19%
Total Crap: 23.68%

5 reviews, 84 user ratings


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You've Got Mail
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by Indiana

"Sounds like the title of a gay porno."
1 stars

I am not longer afraid of death. Death, it seems, could not possibly be any more arduous than "You've Got Mail." This "Movie" really "sucks"... "Really."

Yeah, okay we all know that romantic comedies are movies that we have to go see with our wives/girlfriends so when we sit at home and watch "Nasty Cab Rides IV" for the seventh time we don't catch a lot of shit. And our wives/girlfriends LOVE Meg Ryan. I mean they absolutely love her. She's cute, shmarmy and so perky she could kill Ron Jeremy's erection...
And Tom Hanks! Oh! Tom Hanks! Mr. Oscar, Mr. Phillidelphia! Mr. Forest Gump! The most respected actor in hollywood. Doth we all forget Splash? Bachelor Party? Bosom Buddies for fuck sake?
Yes apparently we all do. But don't worry, this "You've Got Mail" movie thing will make Splash look like motha fuckin' Citizen Kane.
You want plot? Too bad, but I'll tell you what passes for one in this. Tom Hanks is an asshole who owns some huge corporate book store, and Meg Ryan owns some little book store with Ellen Degeneres and they laugh and talk about raising a child and the girl from dawson's Creek gets naked and... Oh wait, that's something else. Anyway, shit goes down, Tom and Meg hate each other, Evil Tom closes meg's store, but along the way they meet in a chat room not knowing who each other is and they fall in love. Yeah...

I think a better film would be if Tom Hanks played a thriteen year old boy (ala Martin Short's performance in Clifford. Now THAT's oscar caliber action!) who robs Meg's store and gets thrown in jail. Between sessions of hot inmate love, he would e-mail Meg, who has cyber sex with him and ends up getting thrown in jail herself for kiddie porn. They meet in jail (ala Tim Robbins and Azim from RobinHood in The Shawshank Redemption) and Tom Hanks humps Meg's butt until the credits roll. Now that's a romantic comedy! I don't know if my wife/girlfriend would aprreciate it as much though.

I would have titled this one "Saving Meg Ryan" except after this movie nothing can anymore. Throw in the towel Meg. And please, tell Tom to follow suit.

 del.icio.us    
link directly to this review at http://efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=185&reviewer=194
originally posted: 05/09/00 02:49:08
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User Comments

10/23/09 the dork knight thoroughly uncreative, dull and pointless. 1 stars
3/24/09 erina movies is reallly dumb. Stupid stupid boring movie Watch shop around the corner. 1 stars
3/28/08 Renzo Jjust another corny chick flick 2 stars
12/26/07 Lily Ponds Its one big ad for big business killing small. It made me sick. 1 stars
12/23/07 María Aurora I simply love it!!! So much fun, and such a sweet movie. 5 stars
5/02/07 Tiffany i really liked it. 4 stars
1/19/07 MARGARET PESKOFF I THOUGHT THIS MOVIE TO BE VERY ENTERTAINING 5 stars
9/12/06 Charles Tatum Hanks is fine, Ryan is annoying, the film is predictable 3 stars
9/04/06 michelebspy Short lived comedy. Hello, the dial up went out of style a long time ago 3 stars
3/31/06 Amy Allen I thought it was a very good movie 4 stars
3/28/06 Brian Meyer Sleepless in Seattle Version 2.0 BORE!!! 3 stars
1/07/06 Jin Nearly unwatchable. Total cornball and fluff. Painful dialogue 2 stars
12/28/05 asf it's genius. sorry. 5 stars
8/31/05 ES Sleepless in Seattle two, as if we needed a sequel to the blandest romance ever 1 stars
11/22/04 Pablo Gimenez Great romance and also a definetly realistic situation where business are unethical 5 stars
11/01/04 DJ Shut the fuck up WWWOOO fucktard, this was a funny movie NOW WHAT COCKFUCK!!?? 4 stars
8/07/04 conor great awful 2 stars
7/26/04 Melissa Feels like watching a romantic classic 4 stars
6/13/04 John so far fetched it's neever believable for one moment 1 stars
3/17/04 Nevz I thought it was good 4 stars
1/02/04 beautie total crappppp!!!! 1 stars
11/06/03 Monster W. Kung "will be a classic one day"... BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! 1 stars
9/08/03 Amanda will be a classic one day. Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks are always great together 5 stars
7/19/03 R.W. Welch Well enough done but once you get the premise you know exactly where its going. 3 stars
7/09/03 natasha_theobald I can't believe how bad it really is - hard to watch them do this 2 stars
5/17/03 George Jung Formulated crap. Did anyone actually expect a good movie when they entered the theater? 3 stars
3/24/03 Jack Sommersby Overly calculated, contextually empty, and just plain uninvolving. 1 stars
3/02/03 Goku's Girl Haven't seen the movie, but I heard Sean Schemmel is in it, - is he??? 5 stars
10/26/02 British Meg Fan This was so good!! MR at her best. I can't wait for In The Cut...a whole change for Meg... 5 stars
5/13/02 Dark Baron Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan?! Again?!! Even if they were emailing dirty talk and porn ..... 2 stars
11/27/01 KMG Shiiiiiit! Meg Ryan is a fucking mop-headed princess! 1 stars
9/23/01 Monster W. Kung They use AOL, 'nuff said. 2 stars
9/03/01 Butterbean Meg Ryan being cute..but this time, she wasn't annoying. It was a good movie 4 stars
8/08/01 Mr. Hat Really fun. Even better than the first "Shop Around The Corner." 4 stars
7/09/01 J I wanted to like this I REALLY WANTED TO LIKE THIS! But it just wasn't funny. 2 stars
6/20/01 Elvisfan Egregious actors in a sap-fest. Enjoyed my last sunburn alot more 1 stars
6/12/01 Jake What was I thinking when I went to see this? Too cutesy, like Ryan. 2 stars
6/01/01 ny152uk2001 A modern day classic 5 stars
5/12/01 The Moorhen Not bad - could have been better. 3 stars
4/09/01 Gary Good movie. Hanks and Ryan go great together. 5 stars
2/22/01 Steve in Prague will Tom Hanks please DIE..overrated actor 1 stars
1/13/01 Avenger Girl Not as good as I thought it would be. Boring in parts 3 stars
12/27/00 Turtle Funny and charming. A fantastic movie! 5 stars
11/28/00 Cristopher Revilla i hate this piece of shit, tom, meg, wake up!!!! 1 stars
11/05/00 Gray Weak plot, weak characters and Tom Hanks -the most overrated actor EVER. Shit. 1 stars
9/03/00 Sentimental Mike This is the ultimate movie for a Romantic. It's beautiful from beginning to end 5 stars
8/28/00 Mr Durden Good, but unoriginal 4 stars
10/11/99 Weird Andy Date movies make me vomit. Next time, I'll just get her drunk. 1 stars
10/07/99 sophia962 Tom Hanks. All you need to know. 5 stars
7/24/99 Hagbard Celine Meg Ryan, that sleazy whore! I'd rather spend a couple of hours looking at net porn. 1 stars
7/11/99 Keith Unfortunately, the chemistry between Hanks and Ryan was not toxic enough to kill them! 1 stars
7/04/99 J-Dogg NOT AGAIN! 1 stars
6/29/99 hum its hanks and ryan.its kind of a remake of shop around the corner.its what you expect 4 stars
6/05/99 kmk am I the only one who thinks no way she falls in love with that guy??? 2 stars
6/02/99 Tristynn Loved it..almost as good as sleepless..a great romantic movie.. 4 stars
4/15/99 Jon Jackson I've been to worse date flicks 3 stars
3/07/99 malin it was like I thought.. but OK! You must love Meg Ryan... 4 stars
3/03/99 Sandra "The movie is deffidently watchable,that's about it!" 4 stars
3/03/99 Rachel decent, but I thought Posey could have more convincingly played Hanks' daughter! 4 stars
3/02/99 M Cocolis a little slow, but okay... 3 stars
3/02/99 Goombah Insipid 2 stars
2/27/99 Kenda Literally, the most boring movie I have EVER seen. 1 stars
2/24/99 Melissa Anne Very Charming! 4 stars
2/22/99 Jeff HOUN YUK, movie dragged ALOT, this could have been done a helluva lot better, borderline sucks 2 stars
1/24/99 Hannah Better than Seattle (not saying much). I did enjoy it, though. 4 stars
1/19/99 Mark Hannig Good date movie, take your significant other with. Very much a feel good movie. 4 stars
1/17/99 amos pretty boring....thats all i got to say about it 2 stars
1/13/99 Bob Do ya think they could write an original story. 3 stars
1/11/99 Jaime The dynamic-duo of Tom and Meg didnt shine as bright as "Sleepless"...boring! 3 stars
1/10/99 twisted barbie cute...a little too cute 2 stars
1/10/99 Suzz fun flick 4 stars
1/10/99 Chris Tom and Meg make a good couple 5 stars
1/08/99 JC Good movie, but unrealistic 4 stars
1/06/99 Sarah Roebuck I thought great they finally got together but, totally unrealistic in our world sigh!! 4 stars
1/06/99 E So cute it's prone to cause nausea. 1 stars
1/05/99 JLB Thouroughly enjoyable, though not cutting edge (it's not intended to be) 5 stars
1/03/99 Dasha Quite enjoyable, but definitely not worth my $10. 3 stars
1/02/99 MFGIT A 90-min ad for AOL starring Hanks/Ryan? Truly the world is as Sodom. 1 stars
1/01/99 Jack Ripper Meg Ryan's bitchiness never fails to come through. Trust me, I've met her. 1 stars
12/30/98 Jules You've got shite. 3 stars
12/29/98 Schizofrenic Oh My God! You got mail! You Bastard! Great comedy. Better than that Roxbury movie. 4 stars
12/28/98 The Dude A very great romatic comedy. Hanks is at his highest right now with this and" RYAN." 5 stars
12/20/98 Mr Showbiz The most satisfying collaboration yet from the super-cute superstars 4 stars
12/12/98 Kirgo Entertaining if you like this kinda crap 3 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  18-Dec-1998 (PG)
  DVD: 07-Jun-2005

UK
  N/A

Australia
  26-Dec-1998 (PG)


Directed by
  Nora Ephron

Written by
  Delia Ephron
  Nora Ephron

Cast
  Tom Hanks
  Meg Ryan
  Greg Kinnear
  David Chappelle
  Parker Posey
  Michael Palin


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