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Overall Rating
2.14

Awesome: 2.63%
Worth A Look: 5.26%
Average: 32.89%
Pretty Bad: 22.37%
Total Crap36.84%

6 reviews, 40 user ratings


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Bats
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List Price:   $32.95
Price:   $29.49
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by Mrs. Norman Maine

"Attack of the little rubber and mechanical things..."
2 stars

Louis Morneau's 'Bats' is a competently made genre piece that trots out every creature feature cliche in the book. The plot's familiar to anyone who's seen a film of this type before. The acting ranges from wooden to hammy. The bats themselves are really bad mechanical models. That doesn't mean the film can't be enjoyed for exactly what it is.

TOE GRIPS

I am continuing on my diet of complete mind candy after finishing Wolfgang Puck’s consommé and crème brulee that Nurse Tameka was so kind to fetch. I am now coughing deeply into Kleenex, fighting off febrile moments and ready to report on my third flick of the day, Bats . Norman finally drank his Seconal laced martini and is snoring away on the couch so I can enjoy my misery in relative peace and quiet. I was getting just a little tired of Anne Murray’s greatest hits in his flat baritone.

Bats are a formula film, pure and simple. It's been made a hundred times before. In all of these movies, a species has been altered by a mad scientist (in this case an eye-rolling Bob Gunton) and is now preying on humankind instead of its usual diet. This allows the filmmakers to place a cast of stock characters in jeopardy while the audience tries to figure out who's going to be eaten next. Ultimately, the heroic clichés, masquerading as characters, figure out a way to destroy the menace and the balance of nature is restored.

The walking, talking caricatures in this film include the town sheriff (obviously the hero as it's Lou Diamond Phillips, the only marquee name), his somewhat doofus deputy (he's toast), the plucky female biologist/love interest (Dina Meyer), her comic relief sidekick (Leon), a swaggering lady mayor, the aforementioned mad scientist, the basically decent government official (another obvious bat meal), and assorted townspeople of Gallup, Texas (disposable stunt people). All plot developments are telegraphed a couple of miles away and the script seems to have been used before, only someone used 'word replace' on their word processor to insert 'bat' instead of 'snake/tarantula/scorpion/leech/okapi/take your pick'.

There is, however, some style in the film making which keeps the movie from being a total loss. There are lots and lots of visual homages. The bat charge on the small town is straight out of The Birds (including the heroine taking refuge in a small glass ticket booth that directly evokes Tippi Hedren in the phone booth). Some bat attack sequences in a small town bar are highly reminiscent of Gremlins and I half expected Phoebe Cates to pour them a beer. There are nods to Dracula , Raiders of the Lost Ark and even Alien here as well. The director, Louis Morneau, is obviously capable and here's hoping he someday is given better material. One or two shots are actually quite memorable and induce that special little frisson that a good horror film should, one with a cloud of bats ascending over a butte and a second making use of lots of little bat eyes.

The bats themselves are a little disappointing. They should be frightening, but in close up, they look like silicon and rubber novelty gargoyles. They'd be much scarier if we never got a good look at them. Scenes of direct bat attack become almost comic, rather than scary when we see too much of the obviously fake little critters.

I can't recommend this one except as mind candy for febrile illness days.

Originally Written 5/17/01
Revised 7/28/02

'What have we done?' speeches. Spelunking. Guano lakes. Exploding marquees. Teenage day players as bat food. Gratuitous evil military subplot. Gratuitous baby in danger. Barricaded school house. Gratuitous [I] bel canto [/I] aria.

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link directly to this review at http://efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=2257&reviewer=283
originally posted: 07/29/02 08:27:38
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User Comments

10/07/08 Shaun Wallner Boring!! 1 stars
4/24/07 David Risser A big waste of time, not worth watching. Boring, stupid, rediculous, you get my point. 1 stars
4/02/07 brent gerald mejia sr. HIGH QUALITY STUFF! Isn't it? 4 stars
11/05/06 cody a pretty bad creature flick with few good points and decent visuals effects. 2 stars
9/05/05 tony SHITSHITSHIT. just a waste of time. I hope there is a rating below total crap for this one 1 stars
8/18/05 ES I didn't hate it, but I haven't recommended it either 3 stars
12/05/04 gerbilerba I blow farts more interesting than this gagathon 2 stars
7/03/04 American Slasher Goddess Watchable and it has a nice pace to it, but it climaxes too early. 3 stars
4/17/04 Vicious I was sick and there was nothing else on. 2 stars
4/07/04 Sig MY GOD! What a flaming peice of dog shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 stars
1/05/04 DM John Lyrik, you are totally correct 1 stars
4/17/03 Jon "Thumb the Toad" Lyrik What a stupid piece of shit! But it is SO damn funny. 3 stars
4/09/03 Jack Sommersby Slight but pretty decent. The two agreeable help. 3 stars
4/02/03 Zach Fun. Romeo y Julietas! 4 stars
2/25/03 D I have seen worse. It needed work 3 stars
12/09/02 Luke Warren I personally thought that the film was great. It was funny and people died in funny ways. 4 stars
8/26/02 Sucks All the Ass on Earth krash, everyone's so harsh because it's the worst, stupidest shit movie ever made, goddamit 1 stars
8/19/02 Kurt Dina Meyer is hot. Too bad this movie isn't. 2 stars
7/30/02 Charles Tatum If you like this, you haven't seen many movies 1 stars
5/11/02 Kyle Because it fucking sucks. Now shut up, and go to hell. 1 stars
1/07/02 krash why is everyone harsh to this film? 5 stars
9/25/01 Shane Robert Myers!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Riddle me this, riddle me that... Why does it have to be crap!!! 2 stars
5/16/01 Rampage Whoever rates this high is a dumbass! And that means Ken Krysa! Dirtbag! 1 stars
10/09/00 Ground Zero Great, another X-Files ripoff. Why do this? 1 stars
8/24/00 Elvisfan Much better than "Lake Placid" & "Deep Blue Sea"; I've been more bored at a movie 3 stars
6/27/00 Ulatekk Urge to spew too great.... Just awful! 1 stars
6/13/00 Dimlight In the top 10 of the worst movies of the '90s. 1 stars
6/12/00 MR joel harwood I would wait for VIDEO 1 stars
4/29/00 Pansy Simply said: Boring. Really boring. 1 stars
2/29/00 Ken Krysa Kick Ass. Who cares what or why the bats kill. As long as thres action and blood! 4 stars
2/11/00 Kyle Broflovski Did I actually watch this? GAWD, what was I thinking??? 1 stars
11/11/99 blue b. Why the hell would bats want to kill humans? This movie fuckin sucks! 1 stars
11/10/99 Ryan Philippe gets hit by a car and it rules Dude, Bats is a true story. Lou Diamond Phillips was playing me only I totally scored! 5 stars
11/01/99 Vampyre9mm why!?! 1 stars
10/27/99 Mr Showbiz A watchable, if forgettable creature feature. 3 stars
10/25/99 bullit17 I got in for free so I couldn't demand my money back. 1 stars
10/25/99 focus worse than Hitchcock's classic, Birds 1 stars
10/24/99 Lame-Oh shit 1 stars
10/23/99 Miguel 90 min of my life I can't get back...need I say more 1 stars
10/23/99 Ben Ryan Ok, the only decent thing here is the timing with Halloween... 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  22-Oct-1999 (PG-13)
  DVD: 27-May-2003

UK
  N/A

Australia
  08-Jun-2000


Directed by
  Louis Morneau

Written by
  John Logan

Cast
  Lou Diamond Phillips
  Dina Meyer
  Bob Gunton
  Leon
  Carlos Jacott
  David McConnell


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