This wouldn't have been the worst film of all time. No, it was up there sure, but not that bad. But they made one fatal mistake. Yes, casting Julia Roberts and Susan Sarandon in an absolute pulled out of yer ass script was bad. Watching Ed Harris in a supporting role who didn't really support, this was bad too. Letting my Mom convince me to rent this for her when she was sick, that was just fucking stupid.... But no, the downfall comes from a small dialogue..." ...who doesn't even know what ' snowblowing' is."
Come again, I said to myself, as I heard the improper-phrasing of one of my all time favorite Smith lines.
" What... What is snowblowing?" the little girl asks with the epitome of curiosity...
That’s right Julia, give her an explanation that has nothing to do with one of the finest films I've ever seen. Separate it, separate...
" It's from a movie that I wouldn't even let myself see."
NOOOOOOOOO!!! You smiley faced cunt bitch!!!! How could you do that to me? The line is SNOWBALL!!! Everyone fucking knows that! Everyone!!! BOO TO YOU!!! DIE BITCH! Fuck you in the ear and everyone else in this miserable piece of shit movie!!!
<Bob, this is Ben. I agreed to let you be a reviewer if you were responsible. This is not responsible reviewing B...>
FUCK YOU BEN!!! HAVE YOU SEEN THIS GARBAGE??? You heard me Columbus, GARBAGE!! I wipe my ass with your negatives and piss in your stars’ eyes!!! FUCK YOU!!! Cum guzzling faggot dikes bitches all of you!!!!
< Uhm, hi guys. This is Ben. The majority of the rest of this review consists of expletives that I'm sure you don't want to read. Instead, I offer you... Roger Ebert and the corpse of Gene Siskel!>
ROGER: A movie that proves once again that Susan Sarandon and Julia Roberts are the leading actresses in Hollywood. What did you think Gene?
* Gene's jaw falls off*
ROGER: Haha, Gene! You still crack me up! We may not always agree but we can still agree to disagree. See you at the movies!Cunt whore fucking bitch sluts dikes!!! I'LL BASH YOUR PEARLY WHITE TEETH IN, THAT'S MY FUCKING MOVIE!!! NO STAR FOR YOU CUNTS!!! FUCK YOU!!
eFilmCritic.com: Australia's Largest Movie Review Database. Privacy Policy | HBS Inc. | | All data and site design copyright 1997-2010, HBS Entertainment, Inc.