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Overall Rating
2.7

Awesome: 23.81%
Worth A Look: 12.7%
Average: 11.11%
Pretty Bad: 14.29%
Total Crap38.1%

3 reviews, 45 user ratings


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by Bob, Lord of Evil

"God have mercy on us all!!!"
1 stars

This wouldn't have been the worst film of all time. No, it was up there sure, but not that bad. But they made one fatal mistake. Yes, casting Julia Roberts and Susan Sarandon in an absolute pulled out of yer ass script was bad. Watching Ed Harris in a supporting role who didn't really support, this was bad too. Letting my Mom convince me to rent this for her when she was sick, that was just fucking stupid.... But no, the downfall comes from a small dialogue...

" ...who doesn't even know what ' snowblowing' is."

Come again, I said to myself, as I heard the improper-phrasing of one of my all time favorite Smith lines.

" What... What is snowblowing?" the little girl asks with the epitome of curiosity...

That’s right Julia, give her an explanation that has nothing to do with one of the finest films I've ever seen. Separate it, separate...

" It's from a movie that I wouldn't even let myself see."

NOOOOOOOOO!!! You smiley faced cunt bitch!!!! How could you do that to me? The line is SNOWBALL!!! Everyone fucking knows that! Everyone!!! BOO TO YOU!!! DIE BITCH! Fuck you in the ear and everyone else in this miserable piece of shit movie!!!

<Bob, this is Ben. I agreed to let you be a reviewer if you were responsible. This is not responsible reviewing B...>

FUCK YOU BEN!!! HAVE YOU SEEN THIS GARBAGE??? You heard me Columbus, GARBAGE!! I wipe my ass with your negatives and piss in your stars’ eyes!!! FUCK YOU!!! Cum guzzling faggot dikes bitches all of you!!!!

< Uhm, hi guys. This is Ben. The majority of the rest of this review consists of expletives that I'm sure you don't want to read. Instead, I offer you... Roger Ebert and the corpse of Gene Siskel!>

ROGER: A movie that proves once again that Susan Sarandon and Julia Roberts are the leading actresses in Hollywood. What did you think Gene?

* Gene's jaw falls off*

ROGER: Haha, Gene! You still crack me up! We may not always agree but we can still agree to disagree. See you at the movies!

Cunt whore fucking bitch sluts dikes!!! I'LL BASH YOUR PEARLY WHITE TEETH IN, THAT'S MY FUCKING MOVIE!!! NO STAR FOR YOU CUNTS!!! FUCK YOU!!

 del.icio.us    
link directly to this review at http://efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=360&reviewer=150
originally posted: 09/03/99 07:13:17
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User Comments

2/18/08 Pamela White it is hard to be stepmom but Julia works 4 stars
12/09/07 Keystra Williams AWFUL. 1 stars
8/06/06 Chris Wilbik Well acted a good movie to see 4 stars
1/15/06 Jo This is an Awsome movie!! 5 stars
8/26/05 Michael Opens Up Some Hidden Emotion For Some 5 stars
8/17/05 ES A rip off of a Canadian movie, this movie is hang your head in shame bad 1 stars
3/12/05 Amber Lets just say there ain't no mountain too high for Columbus to climb!!! 5 stars
11/24/04 rachel benear it touched home hard and is an excellent movie 5 stars
5/20/04 Lindsay Hicks It's afantastic film i love it to bits i can neva get sicjk of it!!!!!! 5 stars
12/23/03 Chris One of the best films of our time. The ONLY movie I ever cried in. 5 stars
10/09/03 SuperBarbie2003 I really liked this movie. Julia Roberts Rocks!!! 4 stars
8/20/03 epy c super 5 stars
4/09/03 Jack Sommersby About as insightful a family drama as "The Cosby Show". 1 stars
11/28/02 Kelli Whip those kids' natural ASSES!! 1 stars
10/29/02 David What's lower than 1(Total crap) surely there should be a 0 (worst than total crap) 1 stars
8/08/02 I Can't Swim Can kiddies post about kiddies elsewhere? BTW, movie eats it, TOO 1 stars
7/01/02 The Klein-bottle Pussy Good acting in service of - uh - who cares what. 3 stars
6/12/02 hilarydsur awesome 5 stars
5/22/02 CRAZY CRAP TOTALL CRAZY CRAP 1 stars
5/12/02 english marky goood film 5 stars
2/28/02 Rebecca Turk When I see how well you act, then I'll listen to what you have to say about wonderful actor 5 stars
2/17/02 Toni Margello I think this moie was marketed wrong and should have been portrayed as a heart felt drama 5 stars
1/06/02 Andrew Carden Such A Crappy and Boring Waste Of Time. 1 stars
12/10/01 Tam Avoided plenty of stepmother cliches. Good screenplay. Vivacious performance from Roberts. 4 stars
4/13/01 Siena Coppa Awsome Movie!!! It made me cry 5 stars
4/09/01 Gary I really liked this movie. Roberts is wonderful and it is funny. 5 stars
2/06/01 Doug I liked it simply because Julia Roberts is the best actress ever! 5 stars
3/19/00 Lame-Oh yucky movie 1 stars
12/04/99 Bozo Worse than almost anything; so bad I can't even believe it 1 stars
9/16/99 strike I expacted a 90's Terms of Endearment.Hell,even Evening Star was much better than this shit 1 stars
7/13/99 Adam Chowndy I thought that this movie was great. Even though some critics call it cheap, it's worth it. 5 stars
6/06/99 Arkansas Jon Definite chick flick. A few chuckles. Not memorable, but not unbearable. 3 stars
2/24/99 Mira Sarandon wasted in glam Hollywood 'tragedy', sappy to the point of annoyance. 2 stars
2/19/99 Derek Total Hollywood-gloss treatment of serious issue- but I kind of bought it anyway 4 stars
2/11/99 Dasha A good, if not really memorable, weepie 4 stars
1/25/99 Meepos. "If you like big teeth" is the best quote all year, but the movie was syruppy. 2 stars
1/24/99 Hannah I cried a lot but it still kinda sucked. 3 stars
1/24/99 MR HOLLYWOOD!! this movie really drags long and hard, BUT, its oscar material & it made my g'friend cry 4 stars
1/20/99 loborojo@hotmail.com Kleenex made a whole lotta dough on dis one. 3 stars
1/16/99 MilhousFan Good god! This movie was fucking awful! Worst movie EVER! 1 stars
1/12/99 Mr Showbiz Sarandon lends the proceedings an ounce of dignity, but Harris and Roberts are wasted. 2 stars
1/06/99 famillier Would've been better if not for that make-me-puke lip sync scene. 3 stars
1/05/99 JLB a Lifetime made-for-cable movie made with expensive actors 3 stars
12/31/98 PirateGirl Chris -- here, have some answers. Blech. 3 stars
12/18/98 Bryan An effective affecting tearjerker! Great acting. 4 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  25-Dec-1998 (PG-13)

UK
  N/A

Australia
  21-Jan-1999


Directed by
  Chris Columbus

Written by
  Gigi Levangie

Cast
  Julia Roberts
  Susan Sarandon
  Ed Harris
  Jena mallone
  Liam Aiken
  Lynn Whitfield



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