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I fucking love this movie. Hell, the amount of money I paid to own it is too embarrassing to reveal. Let's just say too much.

Anyhow, Crispin Glover (remember George McFly, yeah remember Back to the Future, are you sure, okay then) plays Rubin, a loner who lives in a hotel room. All day long Rubin stays in his room as he mourns the loss of his only friend, his cat, Simon (whom he's got frozen in the icebox until he finds a proper resting ground). He listens to the same music that Simon listened to as he squeezes the squeeky toy that Simon once played with. Then one day his mother takes away his stereo and says that she'll give it back to him as soon as he makes a new friend and brings him home for dinner. Rubin is obviously in no mood to go out and socialize with people (hey wait, maybe he's not so ignorant) but then decides that he really must in order to get his stereo back.

Enter Howard Hesseman. He plays (duh) Ed. Ed is a loser and a loner. Only he doesn't want to be alone. He constantly calls his ex-wife (played to perfection by the ever lovely Karen Black) and tries to get back together with her. She of course isn't interested because Ed is a loser who makes 9 grand a year. So now Ed's enrolled in one of those self-improvement scams. Y'know, one of those ones where you chant shit and then give some guy with a bad toupee some of your hard earned money. The scenes with him at the seminars really punctuate just how meaningless his life is. But in a funny way, I swear.

So anyways, Ed has to recruit some new people for the seminar and of course he runs into Rubin. Ed tells Rubin he'll come by his house and then they'll go to the seminar. Now Rubin figures this'd be a great chance to make a friend and get his stereo back. Only when Ed goes to meet Rubin's mom, she's not there. After a long debate, Ed convinces Rubin to still go to the seminar. But of course Rubin steals Ed's car (and Ed) and takes his cat in a cooler to find a suitable place to bury him. And as we all know, the desert is the best place to bury a cat. So that's exactly where Rubin goes. The middle of the desert. And then the car breaks down and they're stuck in the desert with a frozen cat.

Crazy hi-jinks ensue.

That's all I'm gonna give you. It's slow. I mean Jesus, a good 3/4 of the film takes place in the desert and focuses on only two characters. But what I love is that they didn't take two polar opposite characters and put them together. They took Crispin Glover, (who basically plays himself) the long haired weirdo who lives in a hotel and fancies bellbottoms and platform shoes, and Howard Hesseman (who basically plays himself as well) as the hapless shcmuck who really has no clue about anything. In other words, they're both big dumbfucks. And man, dumbfucks rule.

Look, if you're one of those people that looks to be moved when you see a film, if you really want the filmmakers to say something profound, then Rubin and Ed is not for you. However, if you're a normal person and like to watch two assholes run around being, umm, assholes then this movie's for you. Asshole.

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link directly to this review at http://efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=3637&reviewer=176
originally posted: 12/23/99 13:51:45
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