Oh my God did that suck. I will never understand why it is that actors the calibre of Samuel Jackson feel the need to humiliate themselves with drivel of this level. Now I understand that sometimes they get a script, it looks pretty good, then the director and producer get a hold of it mid-production and ruin it. Fair ‘nuff. But you can’t use that excuse this time. This is a stupid script that when it is not putting you to sleep with it’s incredibly slow pace it is boring you to death with its inane dialogue and extremely bad writing. Thank God the acting (or lack thereof) is so incredibly awful that it detracts from this tremendously stupid plot. This film will make you sick.Samuel Jackson is Elijah Price; a man who is born with a rare disease that makes his bones extremely fragile. Sticks and stones can break his bones, as can a well-placed projectile marshmallow or a hailstorm of feather pillows. Since Elijah spends lots of time in his hospital bed he reads comic books and thinks. Mostly what he thinks is that if he is like this then there should be someone on the opposite side of the spectrum who is virtually indestructible. Enter David Dunn (Bruce Willis) a man who should have been a football star but instead becomes a stadium security guard. Elijah seeks out David after David is the sole survivor of a horrendous train crash. This leads to a painfully slow bonding of the two men until Elijah confesses that his purpose is to turn David into a superhero.
“Holy Fuck BatShitMan, what a fucking stupid idea. Surely David won’t go for it. That would be too ludicrous even for a movie with proportions of stupidity this high.”
“Correction BlowBoyWonder. The stupidity level of this cinematic crap is so high as to be able to raise the roof off the BatGirl’sPussyCave”.
They’re a couple of redeeming features to this really terrible flick. One, the ending does throw you for a loop. My wife is a genius at guessing surprise endings and she missed this one. Of course, the fact that she fell asleep after the first twenty minutes didn’t help. I guess the reel (pun intended) redemption here is that it ends at all.
Two, while Elijah suffers from every illness in the world, watching this garbage should at least cure his insomnia.For Hollywood BitchSlap, I’m the Godfather.
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