Overall Rating
  Awesome: 32.74%
Worth A Look: 31.86%
Average: 11.5%
Pretty Bad: 16.81%
Total Crap: 7.08%
6 reviews, 77 user ratings
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| Final Destination 2 |
by Brian McKay
"Should be rated G - as in Giddy, Gratuitous, Gorefest, and Guilty Pleasure"
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The Original FINAL DESTINATION, while not all that great in the end, had a promising enough beginning, and an interesting premise. In a way, it was the anti-slasher film. It said "let's kill everyone off in a gruesome and creative way . . . but this time let's try it WITHOUT a dude with a mask and a chainsaw." This time the axe-murderer is Joe Black. Old Hood and Scythe himself - Death. Da Reapa Man. So . . . who the fuck you gonna call now?Final Destination 2 is no masterwork of cinema either. In fact, it's just more of the same. A LOT more. Fully aware that this is a rehash of what was supposed to be a one-trick pony, the filmmakers have upped the ante by delivering some gratifyingly gruesome death scenes (Why couldn't Resident Evil have been more like this?). When the Reaper man comes around to tie up loose ends, he pulls no punches.
So, it's a year after the events of the first movie, and the lone survivor, Clear Rivers (Ali Larter) - woah, wait. Clear Rivers. The chick's name is CLEAR RIVERS? what the . . . I guess mommy was a hippie or a porn star.
ANYWAY
Lone survivor Clear Rivers (ahem) is voluntarily locked up in a padded room for her own protection to keep Death at bay (I didn't know you could treat an asylum like a hotel on the taxpayer's dime). Meanwhile, Kimberly Corman (A.J. Cook) is on a road trip with three friends when she has a vision of a horrific accident happening up ahead, similar to the dream that the guy in the first film had about his plane blowing up. And holy shit, this has got to be the most balls-out over the top gruesome highway pileup in the history of film. This even tops the wrecks in the Mad Max films.
Intent on stopping the accident from happening, She blocks the onramp - the accident still happens up the road, but not to the people whom it was intended for.
Now Death's pissed.
See, Death has a design (a point you will be well versed in by the time this movie's over, since they prattle on about it in expository conversation oh, say, TWELVE FUCKING TIMES). By saving those lives, Kimberly has gotten the cosmic balance between life and death all screwed up, and Death's got his panties in a bunch beneath his itchy black robe. Apparently, saving a group of people's lives when it was their time to go creates a ripple effect that touches everyone those people encounter. So now, because of this groups subsequent actions, other people might be living when they were supposed to be dying, and vice versa.
Ah, horseshit. Like the first one, the premise is interesting but the script is bollocks. If death really did have a design, how would these morons ever be able to figure it out? Even the explanations from the mysterious undertaker from the first film (Tony Todd, a great actor sadly utilized in a one-scene throwaway part) make no sense.
This is not a movie you go to if you are expecting a logical, well crafted plot, or anything above modestly competent acting. This is a movie you go to to see some motherfuckers die in a variety of creative and messy ways. We're talking splattered like a watermelon or chopped up like a cuisinart - and you get to see it all! I have not been so effectively grossed out and giddily amused by gore like that since I first saw Dawn of the Dead. But besides the gibfest, the film does actually use some clever bits of misdirection to throw you off the scent when you're trying to guess who will die next and how. Most of the time you can dodge their fake-out, but every once in a while they'll sneak one under your radar and BLAMMO! Must give props on that.
One other thing that I respect about both films is that they never tried to personify death, much less show him in some physical form (which would have ruined them completely). Death is not some happy go lucky dude like Bengt Ekerot in The Seventh Seal or William Sadler in Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey. Death is a force of nature that you can't outrun. In fact, death seems to be a form of malevolent kinetic energy -one that is usually set into motion by the unwitting actions of the victims themselves. Damn, maybe this movie is a bit more clever than I give it credit for.I don't know if it's better than the first one, but I have a feeling that parts of it will stick in the memory longer. I don't even remember how everyone died in the first film, but I'll bet you'll remember those moments from number 2 - especially the last one.
 del.icio.us 
link directly to this review at http://efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=6582&reviewer=258
originally posted: 02/03/03 20:50:10
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USA
31-Jan-2003 (R)
DVD: 17-Jan-2006
UK
N/A
Australia
06-Mar-2003
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